Wednesday, June 15, 2011

This is so flipping true it's scary.......

(should say someone sent this via an email to me)

I've seen two shows lately that went on and on about how mid-life is a great
time for women. Just last week Oprah had a whole show on how great menopause
will be . . . Puhleeeeeeeze! I've had a few thoughts of my own and would like
to share them with you. Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60 (or maybe even
just pushing your luck), you'll probably relate

Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us
plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.  (totally agree and I have the evidence to present at show and tell!!)
In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wing spans. We are no
longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag.  (no quite yet but getting there)
Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see
your rear without turning around.. (going to see if this is true, I try not too look at myself naked...just too scary!!)
Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you realize that this is the only
time someone will ask you to appear topless. (sigh, yep this is true)
Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and
scream, 'Listen, honey, even the Roman empire fell and those will too.'  (been there and really wanted to do that!!)
Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves and we're sitting on
our biggest ones.  (followed by my stomach, that seems to be curvy too!!)
Mid-life is when you look at your know-it-all, cellphone carrying teenager and
think, 'For this I have stretch marks?'  (been there, done that and have the t-shirt!!)
In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact the only thing we can retain is
water. (I swear I retain enough water for the whole town certain days.....)
Mid-life means that you become more reflective. You start pondering the 'big'
questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy Choice ice cream can
I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice? (that's deep......really to ponder that with a dish of ice-cream)
But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important. We
realize that breasts sag, hips expand, and chins double, but our loved ones
make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the knowledge that you
have now, for the body you had way back when? Maybe our bodies simply have to
expand to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired. That's my philosophy
and I'm sticking to it!  (well not really but that's part of the joke ;) winking) (Amen to that!!)


Tania said...

Well then, I am knocking on this door right now, oh I cant wait lol!

Janet said...

Yup -totally agree ! and still having a chuckle-have ticked most of those !

Angela said...

research says that
as women get older, they get shorter
as you get older, your legs get hairier
as you get older your ears continue to grow
I was 4'11" when I married Bob- 32 years later, if all the above is true, then one morning soon, he is going to wake up next to a Hobbit!!!!

Valerie said...

And then.... after mid-life the body changes once more. Weight disappears. What was at the back moves to the front and then disappears altogether. Slowly the bones change and the skeleton look arrives. I can't wait....grins.

Boyett-Brinkley said...

This is funny! Sad, scary, true and I can attest to all of it -- but still funny!

Niki said...

Truetruetrue....esp. about the....ahem...bosom!!! lol

Rose said...

Oh, so true, so true!

Loved Angela's comment!

Piece by Piece said...

Gill, I have had this e-mail sent to me and I can relate to every one of those wise words.


Karine said...

Oh, so much to look forwadr to! It must be to make room for all the love though :o) Middle age and old age are blessings! If you think about it this way, none of us want to die, but we complain about our body changes as we grow old! In my mind, the changes are WAY better than the alternative!

angela said...

hahahahah Im there sista! And as for the trim little teenagers, haha they will learn the scary truth one day, but unfortunately I may not be around to see it.

~Carla~ said...

lol!! Praying that I have a while to go before this hits!!!