Why Men are Happier
Nicknames: If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for
lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and
Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they
will affectionately refer to each other as Fat
Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
Eating Out: When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and
John will each throw in $20, even though it's only
for $32.50. None of them will have anything
smaller and none will actually admit that they want
change back. When the girls get their bill, out come
the pocket calculators.
Money: A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't
need ... but it's on sale.
Bathrooms: A man has six items in his bathroom:
toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a
bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of
items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A
man would not be able to identify more than 20 of
Arguments: A woman has the last word in
any argument. Anything a man says after that is the
beginning of a new argument.
Future: A woman worries about the future until she
gets a husband. A man never worries about the
future until he gets a wife.
Marriage: A woman marries a man expecting he
will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a
woman expecting that she won't change, but she
Dressing up: A woman will dress up to go shopping,
water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the
phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
Natural: Men wake up as good-looking as they
went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during
Offspring: Ah, children. A woman knows all about
her children. She knows about dentist appointments
and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret
fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living
in the house.
A married man should forget his mistakes. There'sno use in two people remembering the same thing!