A funny to start your week........

My mam was telling me about this:

The Sick Note (here it is on You Tube)

Dear Sir, I write this note to you to tell you of my plight

For at the time of writing, I'm not a pretty sight

Me body is all black and blue, me face a deathly gray

And I write this note to say why Murphy's not at work today



While working on the 14th floor, some bricks I had to clear

But to toss them down from such a height was not a good idea

The foreman wasn't very pleased, he is an awkward sod

He said I'd have to cart them down the ladders in me hod.



Now shifting all those bricks by hand it was so very slow

So I hoisted up a barrel and secured a rope below

But in me haste to do the job I was to blind to see

That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me



And so when I untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead

And clinging tightly to the rope, I started up instead

I shot up like a rocket, till my dismay I found

That half-way up I met the barrel coming down



Now the barrel broke me shoulder, as to the ground it sped

And when I reached the top, I banged the pulley with me head

I clung on tightly numb with shock, from this almighty blow

And the barrel spilled out half the bricks some 14 floors below



Now! when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor

I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once more

Still clinging tightly to the rope, me body wracked with pain

And half way down I met the bloody barrel once again



Now the force of this collision half way down the office block

Caused multiple abrasions and a nasty state of shock

Still clinging tightly to the rope, I fell towards the ground

And I landed on the broken bricks scattered all around



I lay there groaning on the ground, I thought I'd past the worst

But the barrel hit the pulley wheel and then the bottom burst

A shower of bricks rained down on me, I didn't have a hope

As I lay there bleeding on the ground I let go of the bloody rope



Now, the barrel then being heavier, it started down once more

It landed right across me as.., I lay there on the floor

It broke three ribs and my left arm and I can only say

I hope you'll understand why Paddy's not at work today



written by Pat Cooksey