Friday, August 20, 2010

A Funny for a Friday, as I have been busy.........

Just in case you need a laugh:



Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those who fly routinely in their jobs.


After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics corrects the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.










Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.






By the way,UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.


















P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.


S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.


*


P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.


S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.


*


P: Something loose in cockpit.


S: Something tightened in cockpit.


*


P: Dead bugs on windshield.


S: Live bugs on back-order.


*


P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-feet-per-minute descent.


S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.


*


P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.


S: Evidence removed.


*


P: DME volume unbelievably loud.


S: DME volume set to more believable level..


*


P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick..


S: That's what friction locks are for.


*


P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.


S: IFF is always inoperative in OFF mode.


*


P: Suspected crack in windshield.


S: Suspect you're right.


*


P: Number 3 engine missing.


S: Engine found on right wing after brief search..


*


P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)


S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.


*


P: Target radar hums.


S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.


*


P: Mouse in cockpit.


S: Cat installed.


*


And the best one for last


*


P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.


S: Took hammer away from the midget.


(Sorry I haven't been around to your blogs I hope to pop by on the weekend, just crazy busy, as always!)

8 comments:

Itch2stitch.com said...

Ha ha, So funny, loved them! Susie xxx

LizBeth said...

I haven't laughed that hard in a while!!

Liz, The Republic

Kim said...

Very cute but you actually do need more than a high school diploma to work on aircraft, at least in Canada.

Stephanie D. said...

I remember reading these a couple of years back, but didn't keep a copy. They're just as funny as I remember! Thanks!

cheshire wife said...

Life can be so serious. It is good to know that people can have a bit of fun at work.

Joyce Paski said...

Very funny! Thanks for the laugh. I love your new title picture.

The Witch said...

Gill,
I laughed, and laughed at this.
I work in the aerospace industry and we overhaul engines so this really was funny to read.
I really love my job and we also have a few comedians at work always pulling some kind of prank on one another.

Rose said...

These have been around forever and every time I see them, they still make me laugh. It was good to see them this morn.