Friday, November 21, 2008

WARNING.....if you're a male I would advise you to skip this post......

I mean I really would you know!!!

About a month ago I was sitting in the doctors with dh waiting to go into see the doctor with dh, when I decided wouldn't it be a good idea for me to have a pap smear (okay hit me on the head now!) So I made the appointment for today (20th), as our doctor was away and you know I had a visit in between hands...........

So the big day arrives and off I trot to the doctors. Now to keep my mind off things, I take the car in for a service first thing this morning and spend the rest of the morning shopping, so didn't have too much time to dwell on THE VISIT!!

I get into the doctors office and the nurse says are you here for a physical......nope......just the dreaded pap smear. She asks me what I weigh, I politely tell her too much, she says well lets go and weigh you, again I say nope, as I know I weigh too much and I don't want a lecture!!

So she tells me to remove my clothing from the waist down, and leaves the room. So I strip off and discover she has left me not one but two paper sheets. I decide that rather than laying on the regular old paper I would lay a sheet down on the bench thingy. I am busy doing this when the doctor walks in. He's all embarrassed that I am not laying down. I tell him don't worry about it and tell him once you have had children nothing is sacred anymore.

He then tells me if you have children in a teaching hospital you can expect a crowd in a hospital room especially if you're having an unusual birthing experience, as all the students want to have a looksy. As I had ds in a smaller hospital and dd in what we call a "cottage hospital," I never had that pleasure.

By the way the "cottage hospital," was a tiny hospital where there were wards for older patients, a maternity ward, though only for straight forward births, I don't even think there was an emergency department. It was like a hotel, I requested a transfer there when I had ds as soon as I was able. I had ds at the other hospital as the drugs they gave me, sent me to sleep for hours, and the doctor couldn't be bothered to sit up all night at the cottage hospital waiting for me to give birth.

Anyhow, back to topic on hand. So I lay on the bench thingy, put my feet in those stirrups , I did leave my socks on, and the doctor did his thing. To be fair I have no problem having it done, it's over with in no time flat and as me the doctor and the nurse chit chat the whole time, none of us are really aware of what is really happening, if you know what I mean.

Now this one is a true story and I first read this back in 2002 on Main Street Moms and this is funny:

This is a laugh for all those women out there who so look forward to that wonderful time once a year when they get to become "intimate" with their OB/GYN doctor. In Sydney, Australia one of the radio stations pays($1000-$5000) for people to tell their most embarrassing stories. This one netted the winner $5000....

I was due later in the week for an appointment with the gynecologist! Early one morning I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for early that morning at 9:30a.m. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45a.m. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to spare. As most women do, I like to freshen up when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort. So I rushed upstairs, threw off my dressing gown, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in "That area" to make sure I was at least Presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.

I was waiting in the waiting room only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away. I was a little surprised when the doctor said, "my, we have made an extra effort this morning haven't we?" but I didn't respond.

When the appointment was over, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal.. Some shopping, cleaning, cooking,act. After school when my six year old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, "Mum,where's my washcloth?" I told her to get another one from the cupboard. She replied, "No, I need the one that was here by the sink it had all my glitter and sparkles in it.

This still makes me laugh!!!

By the way I had no idea what I was going to write about today...........

24 comments:

Caroline said...

Someone told me that men can have their prostrate checked now by means of a blood test. Go figure men couldn't put up with the indignities would they??

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

Oh Gill - that made me laugh too. Can just imagine it. It's just the sort of thing that could have happened to me. Fortunately I don't have to go through that particular examination any more - phew!

A x

Winifred said...

Gill that's a corker of a story.

Here the practice nurse does our smears so it's not too bad. Our doctor is a woman too now and they don't use stirrups thank goodness.

My worst experience was the time I had three smears in 6 weeks! The first two were by the practice nurse, the doctor did the third, but none of them had recovered enough cells to test for some reason. I ended up at the hospital having one of those things with a camera stuffed up my innards and seeing it in front of me on TV. The worst bit was the young doctor doing it was gorgeous and his student was a bit of all right too.

The nurse, who was a bit more mature, must have understood how I felt, she held my hand and talked to me all the time.

Gaynor said...

Oh now the shame!!!!!
But strangely observant of the male Dr to notice hehe...bet that came out at every Dr xmas party hehe
lol
gaynor

flydragon said...

Oh, I loved this. Your story and the glitter girl's.

Shammickite said...

Hahaha I've read that story before but it still makes me laugh! I'd love to have seen the look on the Dr's face!
I agree, a pap smear isn't the most delightful experience in the world, but it's a necessary evil, and I'm sure it's saved a lot of pain and heartache, not to mention lives.

Old Lady Lincoln said...

Lol, well I'm assuming you didn't use any glitter or sparkles. I haven't had one of those things done for a long time. My family doctor said, if I'm not having any problems or anything unusual going on, it's not really necessary at my age. He said a lot of women at my age find it very painful and they are finding older women don't really need to have it done. I am thinking about it though, since I have gone through breast cancer twice, and I would pick an ob/gyn to do it.

Rudee said...

All that glitters is not gold. Very funny.

I did have my children in a teaching hospital. Not fun.

Expat mum said...

I love that story. The other one is that the lady used a tissue out of her bag as a wipe and when the doctor did the exam, he pulled out a Green Shield Stamp!!!

Lakeland Jo said...

I love that glitter story such a lot.
I am a great advocate of smear tests and the new innoculations. Having had cervical cancer and being off work for ten months last year with it I recommend folk stick with the indignities of the smear test. The indignities of the actual disease and the treatment to sort it out make you completely hardened to anything embarrassing! Mind you- I had my smear tests regularly and still ended up with a rare and aggressive type of cancer so it really important not to 'put it off'.

Jo, a retired teacher said...

I stop by your blog from time to time, but don't always leave a comment. This one did make me smile though. I've heard a variation of the glitter story, funny how it changes.

I decided several years ago that my GYNs were going to be women. As knowledgeable as male doctors may be, they haven't experienced our hormones and cannot truly understand our love/hate relationship.

I'll continue to check back from time to time.

Bonny said...

Haha! What a funny story!

Gill - That British Woman said...

I'm glad you all enjoyed the "funny" part of this post. As Lakeland Jo said, it's important to have this done on a regular basis.

Gill

Diane of Crafty Passions said...

Love both stories!
Made me smile!
I hated having those, but with my innards all gone now I don't have to go anymore.There is one blessing to that !
Diane

The Good Life in Virginia said...

ahh you made me chuckle...mind you i have had very little to chuckle about all week.

as always..take care.

rosiero said...

I bet it cheered that doctor's day up!!

AmyK said...

OH MY GOODNESS! Wow. Too funny. I think I've read that before, but it was a while back... before I'd ever had a pap smear. Too funny.

Yikes, you reminded me it's about time for me to make an appointment, too. Woopdeedoo.

Diane of Crafty Passions said...

To answer your question YES every single day he feeds the birds from November till we see some sort of grass in the spring Mayish!
Diane

Janet said...

Your funny story reminded me of an incident at my doctor's when I was still in England. I inadvertently kicked over his lamp, so he had to do the smear test in the equivelent of a miner's helmet. It was all very embarrassing.

Tea Time With Melody said...

That was great! Still laughing.

dulwichmum said...

OHMYGOD! Now that is hilarious.

DM x

Hyde DP said...

I was going to just say - I read this and laughed - then I see Caroline's comment - no - the blood test only checks whether there's a need for a test - yes we do put up with the "indignities" although it isn't SO bad -- I'll spare you the details though.

Evelyn said...

In Canada we don't have a choice about who does the smear, has to be your regular GP. mine delivered my first born so has seen me at my worse.
They found unusual cells the last time so had to have a more thorogh one done at the hospital called a colscopy. i am fine but have to repeat visits for every 6 monthes.

Caroline said...

Hyde DP - Exactly you can have a blood test to see if you need any intervention eg-a physical
examination. Many men do not need to go any further than a simple blood test. We do not have any non intrusive tests OURS begin with an examination.

By saying that regardless of your sex it is most important to have a
regular check up I have nursed a man with prostrate cancer & watched my own mother suffer with both cervical & breast cancer.Being slightly uncomfortable for 5mins is much better than the alternative.