A month has past........

since my little "episode."  That's what we call it me and dh, "the episode."   I am finally wrapping my head around it and feel happier with it all.  Wish it wouldn't have happened mind you but no where near as frightened as I was.

I am doing more and more each day, but dh says I still look very tired.  He says I am trying to push myself too much; but if I don't try I won't know what I can or cannot do?

The one thing I do not like about all of this is that too look at me I look perfectly fine, but inside of me I'm not.  I also feel a bit helpless as basically no one wants to know in the medical field it feels like.  I do have an appointment with the cardiologist in November, but it's only a consult, so nothing will be done.  

No one has mentioned me going to see a lung specialist to make sure my lungs are functioning properly.  One thing that does happen to me, is when I push myself too hard, I start yawning like a crazy person, which I have been told is too compensate for a lack of oxygen?

Looking back over the summer, I have come to realize I had not been feeling well for quite some time; but it was all minor things, that unless you link them all together they meant nothing.

I have finally adapted to taking the medication and my "tropical moments/hot flashes," seem to have gone away.  I am not as red in the face anymore, and  my legs don't ache as much; although no blood clots were found in my legs.

I have many things to be grateful for, but I would like to know why this happened.

Have you had something happen to you medically, that no one knows why it happened?

Out of the mouth of babes..........

Nana (me): We are having grilled cheese and tomato soup for lunch.

Nora: Okay

Nana (me): and if you eat that up you can have a banana pudding

Nora: that sounds disgusting..........

Nana..........I couldn't think of anything to say after that!!!

By the way she tried the banana pudding and didn't like it........

Last Tango in Halifax and other tv programmes

My mam kindly sent me the three series from this programme as a get well/relax while healing gift.  We have watched all three series and thoroughly enjoyed them all.  After each episode finished though, we (dh and I) decided our families are quite normal after watching all the craziness in the the families on the Last Tango in Halifax programmes!

There is supposed to be a fourth series, but as yet it hasn't been released.  Have you watched this show, and did you enjoy it?

I just bought the first season of Downtown Abbey, so that is what we are going to watch next......I know a way behind the times.  I have seen the last series of this but not the first five.  Maggie Smith is just perfect in this.  Are you a fan of this series?

I also watched The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel the other day and thoroughly enjoyed that as well.  Have you seen that?  Maggie Smith and Judi Dench are wonderful in both of the Marigold Hotel movies.

What are your thoughts on any of these?

Things don't have to cost a lot to be good......

$1.00 for a fresh loaf of bread, and it was so good with some soup for supper..........

Signs Fall is here......

Knit and worn

Pumpkin Muffins

Heating on.

Happier Post

Thought we needed a change of direction, after the last couple of days' post's.  Haven't mentioned the girls for a while, so thought I'd update you with a couple of photos.

Here is our little butterball, who is now 4 months old.  She is playing with toys now and can roll over.  After being miserable for the first 6 weeks of life is now the most content, cheerful little soul.  Her mum uses some sort of app to add all the graphics.

Then we have our other little Munchkin who will be 3 next month.  She is a right little character, talking up a storm and wrapping her dad round her little finger.  Here she is at cooking class.  Loblaws offer them a couple of times a month; she was making chicken quesadilla's and churros at this class.

She also takes swimming classes and is in gymnastics.  Paige just looks like her sister and will be tall like Nora is.  We are buying Nora size five clothes now just for the length.

I'll talk about the other three another day.

Three weeks later....

and things are improving.  Not as fast as I would like, but at least I can walk a lot more than a few steps before getting out of breath.  

That first week when I went grocery shopping with dh I had to use the motorized shopping cart in Wal-Mart, now I can walk the store, albeit slowly with dh.  I drove to the garage yesterday to have my oil changed; today I plan to drive to knitting for the first time, which is a fifteen minute drive.  That will be the most I have driven in three weeks.  One of my issues is that I have been very lightheaded so have not wanted to drive far.  That was due to the side effects of the pills amongst other things.  

Another issue is that I don't look sick on the outside.  It's not like I have broken a leg or anything else you can see, it's all inside my body.  When you are talking to me on the phone or even in person, I sound perfectly fine.  It's just when I start doing anything that causes my heart to pump harder and me to breath harder that you can see I am not my usual self.

Some days I am tired, other days I have a bit more energy.  However I do feel like a fraud, because at my age (52) I should just bounce back; well that's my way of thinking.  I am back to doing all the laundry and cooking and cleaning (only the very basics are getting done.)  Each day I set myself little goals and it's been a good day if I can get those things done.

I am finding this as hard to get over this mentally as well as physically, as this was something I just wasn't expecting?

I was told that the blood clots in my lungs are like bruises and they gradually fade away like a bruise does.  Which I thought was interesting.  Also did you know that your heart releases enzymes when in distress and a blood test will show that.  That is when they figured out something was going on.  My heart was under strain that's all, so no damage there.

At the end of the day, I am grateful to be alive.........so I should stop whining...LOL

It's been a couple of months........

August and September were hot weather wise and I didn't feel the best, what with the heat and allergies, it wore me down.  

On September 29th in the afternoon I felt even worse and had trouble breathing, but just thought it was one of those things.  Next morning (30th) got up had a shower couldn't breath, changed the bed and had to lie down afterward as I was exhausted.  So called dh and he took me to the hospital.

To cut a long story short they diagnosed excessive blood clots on my lungs, or pulmonary embolism  The good news is I didn't have a heart attack or a stroke, for that I feel blessed.  I spent 48 hours in hospital and frightened the living daylights out of everyone, including myself.  Never in a month of Sundays was anyone, including me expecting this.

So here we are nearly three weeks later and it's been a journey where I am taking baby steps in getting better.  There are many stories to be told in this journey both funny and sad.  I am managing to walk a bit further everyday and try and remain as positive as possible, but I am tired.

I will be on Xeralto for the next six months at least.  One thing that is different, is that my legs are clear of blood clots.  No one knows why this happened, which is puzzling.  I have to see a cardiologist and go to a thrombosis clinic, but I wouldn't think I will be seeing anyone until the new year, unless something else happens.  Meanwhile I just go to my family doctor.

I cannot get insurance, so dh and I cannot go to our son's wedding in the Bahamas in January, which is upsetting for all.  

At the end of the day, I am grateful to be alive, as the doctors said I could easily of died if I hadn't received medical attention.  I will share more of my story over the next few days.