A bit of British Humour for a Friday

Got this in an email. BRITISH HUMOR IS DIFFERENT

These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers: FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.. 8 years old, Hateful little bastard. Bites! FREE PUPPIES 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog. FREE PUPPIES. Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd. Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound. COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.... JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $100... WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE . Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie. **** And the WINNER is.... **** FOR SALE BY OWNER. Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition, $200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything. Statement of the Century Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker--Billy Connolly."If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, How come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Children Are Quick___________

TEACHER: Why are you late?
STUDENT: Class started before I got here.
____________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables..
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this child)
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O..
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie.... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.....
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mum is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.
Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
(I want to adopt this kid!!!)
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
__________________________________
PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH.
Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

Got this email: Nora's been charged with Robbery!!!

....good thing she has a stylish prisoners outfit to wear!! Hahaha :)

  Poor Nora, she doesn't look happy does she?

 As Miss Nora is now 15 1/2 lbs the doctor suggested introducing solids, so here is Miss Nora eating her baby rice.

Dd is introducing yellow and orange veggies starting next week, one at a time a different one every couple of days to make sure Miss Nora isn't allergic to anything.

Managed to get rid of something else via Kijiji.  Gosh there are some odd ball people out there.......

Becoming obsessed with light fixtures.....

I was out and about on Tuesday and called in at a lighting store and saw more light fixtures that I fell in love with.  All these lights were at Living Lighting/Rafters in Barrie.

The first two photos are from Euro Home.  The large round pendant is product # 9016 and was $419.99.

 The leaf type island pendant was $319.99 #9016LR and the one with the green drops in it was $499.99 #2008 5P.

 The next four photos are from Steven and Chris by Art Craft Lighting.  This one was on sale for $374.25 and is part of the Trellis collection, #SC965.

 This is a smaller one from the collection #SC963 on sale for $254.25.  Both of them come with more chrome poles so they can hang further down off the ceiling.

 This is from the Oslo collection SC165 and was on sale for $415.50

 This one is from the Mercer Street Series # SC543WH and was on sale for $336.75

Fell in love with this lamp.  It was the last one they had.  I thought the paperclip feature on it was so neat.  I thought it would be perfect for putting photos on and great place for Christmas cards.  Best of all it was marked down to $49.99.  No idea though where I would put it as there was only the one.

I decided to walk away from them all and think about the situation and consult with dh.  I do love that table lamp though!

Well I'm glad someone finds it funny because I sure don't!

The snow bank is actually smiling at us now!!!

Here are some flower shots from the Canada Blooms show.  This year's theme was "WILD!"

Some photos from the home show with a lot of links for you to go too if you want.

We went to the Canada Blooms/National Home Show at the Direct Energy Centre in downtown Toronto on Saturday and we had a good time.  So much so we were rushing at the end as we wanted to leave before the Toronto FC game got started.

Saw a lot of neat things and purchased a couple of things.  We put a deposit down on the central vac system below.  It's a Beam Electrolux  model # 650SB and is an all singing all dancing model.  We saved $700 on the regular price and for what we got we were happy with the price.  

Don't worry I didn't buy this.  I thought the shower head was neat with the LED lights; but the $1,500 price didn't excite me!

I had never heard of Bertazonni appliances, it was the colour of the stove that caught my eye.  The one below is a 30" stove and cost $4,899 CDN and you got a free hood/vent with it when you ordered it from here.

Panasonic had a range of small kitchen appliances on sale including this square kettle which was in purple; it looks blue in the photo. Personally I found it much too bulky for my hands and at $150 to pricey!

 There was a lighting booth there that had some interesting ideas.  The store is called Home Ideas and I included the link to their website.  This one was unusual and it was either $499 or $359 and would be ideal over the dining room table.  Dd didn't like this one when she saw the photo.

This one was either $400 or $359 and would be ideal in the living room......maybe?

 This Zipper Table was different to say the least.  I don't remember who made this.  I did a search online and the name of the store wasn't one that I remembered seeing, so I can't give credit to anyone, but did find this interesting.  They did say they had sold a couple of them; it wasn't to me as 1. I didn't like it and 2. at around $9,000 I would want my whole house furnished!!

My biggest beef with this show was the price of food.  I took a couple of granola bars with me, but we got thirsty.  A bottle of water was $3.76.  We got a a buttered wholewheat bagel each and a bottle of soda (which was the same price as the water) which we shared and it was over $11.  Parking was $17, hours of enjoyment, priceless!!!

Tomorrow I will share photos from the Canada Blooms part of the show.

It seemed simple enough, put Nora down for a nap............

Dd told me all I had to remember was:

• Close the blind
• Turn the swing onto number 4
• Turn the sleep sheep onto rain

So me and Nora wander upstairs and all is good.  Close the blind - check.  All is still good.  Place Nora in the swing and manage to get her strapped in.  Nora not very happy by now!  Manage to find the switch and the number 4 and turn it on.  Didn't have my glasses on so took a minute.  Nora REALLY not happy now.  Thank goodness I strapped Nora in as now she is letting the whole neighbourhood know this was not her idea to go down for a nap and is trying to escape.

Meanwhile as her Nana left the door partly open Olive and Rhubarb made an appearance, as poor Olive seemed very concerned with the fact that Nora was screaming blue bloody murder!!  So I chase out the cats and find the bloody sleep sheep and turn it on.  Now due to the lack of glasses, I couldn't see the word rain, but at least it was making a noise.

Figured as Nora was not happy I would take her out of the swing.  The only problem with that I couldn't figure out how to open the straps and couldn't see it probably as I didn't have my glasses on.  I finally get her out and decide after rocking her to put her in the crib in front of the aquarium; that was simple to turn on.

That calmed her down watching that.  Then dd materialized to see what I was doing and decided that no Nora would not go to sleep in her crib and she would put her back in the swing which was still swinging minus baby, as I couldn't see the switch to turn it off.

I go back downstairs exhausted and ready for a nap myself.  Oh and it was at this point I discovered my glasses were on top of my head!!

And finally here is the little angel herself!!

And yes "The Princess Has Arrived," and has her wrapped around everyone's little finger!!

All about Miss Nora....

So if you're not fussed about seeing her I would skip this post!!

Miss Nora was 4 months old on the 16th, and as it was St. Patrick's Day yesterday, she decided to add an Irish twist to the 4 month old photo!

 Her little head is getting so stronger and she can now roll over if she puts her mind and body into it!!

She is a joy to be around and is more interactive with you now.  Can't wait for next month's photo, which I have been told will have an Easter theme to it! 

Here is the birthday greeting I got from her. 

My little blue eyed, strawberry blonde bundle of joy!

Let's catch up.........

It's been a busy few days around here.  It was my birthday on Saturday, so the day was a whirlwind of activity.  Dh took me out in the morning to buy me some clothes for my birthday as I wouldn't tell him what I wanted for my birthday........probably because I don't need anything.  I did okay as I got three tops and two pair of pants for just under $100.  Dh got himself a golf shirt and a pair of pants also.  We rarely ever go clothes shopping, so we achieved a lot in a little time.  I do need a new pairs of trainers/running shoes, but we didn't have time to get them.  We'll get them this next week.

At night we went to The Mandarin Restaurant for supper and it was good.  We were seated in the bird room; there is an aviary filled with birds and that kept The Little Princess amused watching them.  Miss Nora wasn't as bothered as there was plenty of other things keeping her amused.  The kids all clubbed together to get me a Kobo e-reader and a 9 month premium subscription to Next Issue.  I got a five minute crash course at the restaurant on how to use it and promptly forgot.....would that be another sign of getting old do you think?  I had a go with it on Sunday but could do with some pointers.  I am really looking forward to learning how to use it and it will be easier than having a pile of books in the house.

I have to brag about our Little Princess.  She just turned 14 months and knows how to use the potty.  She can't ask to go but if you sit her on it she knows what to do and does it.  Also if you ask where is Miss Nora, she'll point at her.  She is such a smart cookie.  I am so sure she takes after me, just like Miss Nora does....LOL

Talked to a few folk over the weekend especially family and as I turned 50 a few everyone made fun of me.  However when I told them our son turns 30 in April and didn't that make them feel old too, that shut them up!!!  My mother was saying that the grass had been cut where she lives.  I said "that's nice," and asked what colour is grass as it's been that long since I have seen any!!

Our desktop computer hard drive went kaput.  So poor dh has been trying to figure out what to do.  All our photos are on there which sucks.  So I am picking up my emails up on my laptop and I don't like the setup I have on my laptop.  

Finally sold the dining room table and chairs on Sunday via Kijiji, which is good.  After being mucked around by some other folk, these guys were a joy to deal with.  Plus I think they may take some of the garden/garage stuff when we have a yard sale.

Will make a fresh attempt at listing things on Kijiji at the beginning of next month.  If the weather would just warm up I could make a start on sorting things out in the garage.  I am going to pack up the china cabinet this week.

Remember we got the new mattress a week or two ago?  Just discovered none of my flannel sheets fit due to the mattress being so deep.  Luckily they had seen better days, but dh is not happy not having his flannel sheets to go with his two doubled over blankets on his side!!  Meanwhile on my side of the bed I have the sheet and the bed cover and am wearing a summer nightie..........why is it one is always hot while the other is always cold?

Off to work today

for the second time this week, which makes a nice change.  Thankfully the weather cooperated over night and it should be a reasonably easy drive to work.  It helps that it is March break here so the traffic is lighter.  It takes me an hour to drive to work.  Thankfully most of it is countryside driving and only 20 minutes of it is city driving.  None of it is highway driving which also helps.  

Thought I'd leave you with a photo of Miss Nora asleep in her crib.  The crib looks enormous for her.

When she is put in her crib she is swaddled, but she has to have her arms out as she does not like those wrapped us.  She turned herself over the other day by herself for the first time.  She will be 4 months old on the 16th.

Sucked in hook, line and sinker..........

Did your mother tell you always to watch for the quiet ones as they could be dangerous?  Well I forgot that the other day, and I was sucked in.

Don't worry it wasn't anything dangerous infact it's funny how it all happened.

On Tuesday evening we met up with the big boss of the company who is building the new house as we wanted to take photos of the stud walls before they drywalled them.  The reason for this is so if we make any changes down the road dh can refer back to the photos as to where the wires are etc.

We signed a waiver saying we are not to go into the house on our own while it is being built.  Which is fine by us and in the past either the sales guy or the security guy has gone with us.  But this time it was the big boss.  He is such a quiet guy and very friendly and very much involved in the day to day operation of the homes.  He takes great pride in the workmanship and the trades he employs do a super job.

The living room of the new home ceiling is nearly twelve feet high and is very impressive.  We talked about it and in the model home there was a coffered ceiling like this:

Big boss said I'll take you the other Cortina home we have a couple of doors down.  We had looked at this one when we were deciding which house we were going to buy and didn't want this one as it was the middle of a row of houses so didn't get as much light as our corner lot.  So we walk down to the other house and walk in and it's all drywalled and tiles in etc so a lot further on.  However the show stopping feature of this home is the ceiling in the living room.  It is a WOW factor and more; it is gorgeous.

It's not just the square boxes like the photo above it is custom designed by him to fit the way the room will be set out and for how the family would live in it.  

So I said to him, "You're not as daft as you look."

Big Boss had no idea what I meant.

I said, "You knew what you were doing by bringing us to look at this, knowing fine well I would want one."

Big Boss says," I am a terrible salesman, so wouldn't do that."

This guy is a perfect salesman, quiet and not pushy.  So we are waiting to see how much all this will cost in our house, as again ours is slightly different and the way we will use the room would be different that this other house.  Bang goes my budget out of the window, as this is not only a show stopper it is an investment if/when we sell the house.

As I said at the beginning, always be careful of the quiet ones!!

Very realistic and violent video games.......

I don't play many video games and the ones I have played usually are so child like that no one is offended.  Plus I do tend to be useless at them anyway.  I could never get Mario to jump over stuff, no matter how high I held the controller thing; and if my driving was anything to go by on Mario Cart, I shouldn't be allowed on the roads AT ALL!!  I also remember a monkey and some banana's on another game.

I have been introduced recently to a totally different kind of video game; I am assuming they call them video games?  On Swagbucks you can get one Swagbuck by watching the trailer to a video game.  Today's was World Of Tanks, and I actually watched it while it was playing.  It obviously involved tanks shooting at one another.  What struck me other than all the blowing up of tanks was the little details, like the insignia's on the vaious tanks.  They were going through a field of poppies; why poppies?

Some of the other's have been way more violent and pretty sexist if you ask me.  Some with women in them have figures to die for (and they do) and are wearing very little clothing.  The killing and violence is awful.  If people are playing this day in day out what must it be doing to their minds?

I on occasion have played Candy Crush and while there is no violence in there it can be addictive if you play more than a couple of game at a time.

Personally I don't get it? Maybe I am missing something?  Please feel free to give your opinions......

Things are awfully quiet and pretty boring around here.......

I know it must be the calm before the storm, so am taking advantage of the slower pace of things.

One of the things I wanted to upgrade in the new house was the vanity counter tops in the ensuite bathroom and the powder room. They come with laminate counter tops and I would like granite with under counter sinks.  They finally got back to me with the upgrade cost.  Over $1,600 + taxes for the ensuite and over $1,400 + taxes for the powder room.  The granite I picked was exactly the same as we got in the kitchen, so a standard quality, nothing fancy.

We of course said no thanks and I will source it out myself, as I am quite sure you can get it for a whole lot cheaper?  Any ideas or places in the Barrie, Orangeville, Newmarket area?  I was thinking I could maybe get an off cut piece, as we don't need much?

We still have a pile of snow, but it is a little warmer than it has been.  We had a lovely sunset so I thought I'd share some photos with you.

Kijiji, declutering and other delightful "stuff"

Had a little it of success on selling a couple more things on Kijiji.  Sold the dresser and the bed along with the mattress from the spare bedroom.  Still have the futon from the attic, and the table and chairs from the dining room to get rid of.  I also put up my Pflatzgraff Empire dinnerware on sale now that I have the Gordon Ramsey set.

There are 10 each of the dishes and plates and 7 mugs; not bad for $30.

Also had another clean through the drawers and closets and came up with this little lot:

I will drop them off tomorrow at the charity shop.  That will also mean I have get rid of my 25 things for the week.  I am of the mind that if I don't need these things why take them to the new house?  As the more we have to move the more it will cost us.

Has anyone watched the TV series Vikings?  What are your thoughts on it?  I would like to get it on DVD and watch it minus the adverts, but read some where it was very violent and blood thirsty?

There doesn't seem to be any let up of this bitter cold weather does there?  Then I heard on the TV we are in for a very cold March (SIGH)

We firmed up on our new home on the weekend and went to have a look around it to see the progress.  It has been weather proofed for a while with the frame up and the roof on and the windows and doors in.  They have now completed the framing inside.  Done the rough in for the plumbing and put all the duct work in for the heating.  The shower base is in, in our ensuite and the shower unit is in, in the downstairs bathroom.  We now have stairs to the basement.  They should be starting the electrical/wiring of the house soon.  All in all we are really pleased with the workmanship so far.

If you like cats and/or budgies this video is for you:

Thank you Winifred for posting it on you blog first.  My Nana had budgies, never really thought much about them just sitting in a cage.

Here the latest photo of our Miss Nora.

With those blue eyes and rosy cheeks she is British through and through.

Buying a new mattress.......

We have been married coming up 31 years and in that time we have had two mattresses.  So we are long overdue for a new mattress I would say.  Plus I am fed up of dh whining about sleeping in the "valley" in the middle of the mattress.  We went to a couple of places but ended up buying one from Sleep Country Canada.  We bought this one:

Simmons Beautyrest WC Elite™ Imperial Luxe

Luxurious fabrics and cushioning combine with durable foams in the Imperial Luxe to achieve maximum comfort. This mattress has the perfect combination of a High Performance Coil System and comfortable foams.
•  A ventilated AirCool® BeautyEdge® Foam encasement provides extended support down to the edge while providing breathability to keep you cool throughout the night
•  Beautyrest® Pocketed Coil® Technology provides conforming back support to help alleviate aches and pains
•  Exclusive to Sleep Country - Luxurious silk & wool blend fibre help to enhance the sleep surface 
•  Exclusive to Sleep Country - TruTemp™ Gel posturized foam provides pressure relief, promotes freedom of movement and provides a comfortable sleeping temperature by helping to regulate your body temperature
•  Made with AirCool™ memory foam and an AirCool border for increased breathability

Now as with anything that involves me there is a story to be told.  It does not excite me one little bit laying down on a bed in a showroom.  Why?  I have this thing about head lice and laying on a bed that other people have laid in that may or may not have head lice does not thrill me.  So I refused point blank to lay on any beds until we were absolutely sure we were going to buy one.  Saturday was the day we decided to buy one, so that was the day I finally relented to lay down on various beds to try them out.

Quite interesting trying out different beds as it was very clear how different they were to lay on.  I am a half front, half side sleeper and dh sleeps on his back, so we prefer a firm bed with a little give.  We bought a queen size bed.  We thought about a king bed, but dh is permanently cold and the heat my body gives off keeps him warmer, and we sleep closer together in a queen bed.

We also bought a pillow each for us, mine was $90 and we got dh's for half price at $75.  She told us they should last three years, I hope so as I have never bought pillows that expensive before.  Bought the pillow protectors and "had" to buy the mattress protector at $120 for extra warranty.  We got the mattress set for $1,300 as we are getting last year's colours; it should have been $2,400.  We did try out a few models but kept coming back to this one.  Considering you spent a good portion of your life in bed, it's well worth the expense to spend a little more in my opinion.

We have also ordered a new bed frame, but that won't be here until the end of April, so will share photos with you then.

So this is where dh's tax refund is going this year!

When was the last time you bought a new mattress?

Out with February, in with March..........

I generally H A T E February, I find it the longest month of the year, despite it being the shortest one.  However this year it has gone by fast despite the rotten weather.  All due to the fact we put the house up for sale.  As we don't move until the middle of June I have a feeling the next few months may drag by a little though.

If we ever get any half decent weather, we do have a lot of sorting out in the garage and shed; which in turn means a lot of things to sell, as yard work will be at an absolute minimum in the new place.  We don't even have to take care of the flower gardens if we don't want to.  I will be though, and I think deep down I will probably miss cutting the grass at some points.