Saturday, February 25, 2017


I was reading a blog post over at John's and thought I would add my two cents with my own blog post.

What happens after you die has changed so much over the years.  Once upon a time you would have a church service for the deceased, the  clergy would say many heart felt words about the deceased; whom he would probably have known.  There would be special funeral hymns; Abide With Me being a favourite.  Everyone would be wearing somber colours and there would be a wake/tea after wards to remember the deceased.  The deceased would be buried, occasionally someone would be cremated and be buried in a church yard/cemetery where loved ones would visit regularly and put fresh flowers on your grave on special occasions.  At least that was how it was when I was growing up.

Cremations are more popular, nowadays.  Anything goes when it comes to clothing worn at a funeral.  Here in Canada we can view the body in the days up to the funeral; like a lying in State situation.  Music can be anything from the funeral hymns to country music and popular music.  The last funeral we went to the great grandchildren and grandchildren drew and wrote messages on the casket/coffin.

Prior to coming to Canada 28 years ago I had only seen one dead body, my grandad and that was only a quick glimpse.  Since coming to Canada I have seem numerous dead people, even watched someone take their last breath.  It seems to be more open and welcoming, and more involved here in Canada.  When I think of funerals in Britain they are a more staid somber affair.

I swore I would never get cremated, but over time I have changed my tune.  I know that our children love us to bits, but I also know they would never visit us if we were buried somewhere.  Realistically they are busy people and it would just be another job for them to do by making the trip to the cemetery once or twice a year.  I would rather they remember us as we were and when they think of something that reminds them of us.

Things have changed when it comes to remembering the dead.  What are your thoughts and have you changed your ideas on what will happen to yourself after you die?

On a lighter note.  The kids gave me an envelope for Christmas, I opened it and the first thing I saw were the words URN INSERT.  My first thought was, "do I look that sick?"  However upon further reading it was a membership for this from here:

I get four seasonal inserts for a pot/urn for the garden.  It has nothing to do with death!!!


Out My window said...

You are too funny, I am still giggling.

Anonymous said...

I love the urn subscription. My sons would have done it just for the shock value.
I am all for cremation and invasement (I found at Dad's funeral this is the term used) in the church columbarium. I can go , sit in the garden there and have a visit. There is no need for flowers since the grow in the gardens, but I do occasionally play Dads favorite music.

Evelyn said...

I want to be cremated and my ashes scattered as I don't want someone babysitting an urn

William Kendall said...

I'd prefer cremation and for the urn to be interred somewhere.

Jane said...

The idea of laying in a coffin under 6' of dirt just doesn't sit well with me. I've left instructions with Kazi that I want to be cremated and sprinkled around my favourite hiking trails. My mom and dad are buried about an hour from where I live and I don't go there. I feel as though they are in the same room with me, I feel their presence every day.

barbara woods said...

My brother and his wife are going to be cremated but I am still holding out, my first hubby and two of my kids are in a plot and I have one in the middle so I guess I will go the old way.

SandyExpat said...

Born and raised in England, living in Midwest USA. For the most part you will no longer find a grave yard adjoining the church. However you can still have the funeral service in the church or some choose at the funeral home. Like in Canada you can attend a viewing of the body. I admit I am not comfortable with this and rarely do so. Funerals are a staid somber affair. Often a lunch is served after the funeral and everyone dresses very conservatively. It would be unusual in our circle for the minister to not know the deceased.

I did rather like that after my dear sister died and was cremated a plaque was added to a remembrance wall in the local church yard. I always go their when in England. Both my mum and dad ashes are scattered in the garden of remembrance at the crematorium. Doesn't have the same feeling to me.


Dar @ An Exacting Life said...

I don't want to support the funeral industry any more than I have to: