Sunday, May 3, 2009

Bored Man in Tesco's Supermarket

This was originally posted on Jo's blog, I laughed so much I had tears running down my face. I thought #2 was really funny......

This letter was actually sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford:

Dear Mrs. Murray, Whilst we would like to thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of his actions over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened..

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could helphim, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave mealone?'

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. October 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.

10. November 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible' theme.

11.November 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.

12. November 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed,yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

13. November 21: When an announcement came over the loudspeaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'

And last, but not least:

14. November 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'

6 comments:

Gaynor said...

oh boy! I needed this laugh. Reminded me of my middle son who really did use a toilet in homebase...on the display stand lol

omanvirtually said...

Very funny - I googled it (June 15 ) Results 1 - 10 of about 1,390 Dating to 20 May 2007

The Banbury Guardian contacted Tescos who told them is was a fraud .
Some posts go back to May 2007 and some are done with ‘costcos’ name.

So this is what a bored guy does in Muscat - sorry :(

scrappy quilter said...

Too funny!!

Twisted Fencepost said...

I have seen this before, only it was in the U.S., and it was for a Wal-Mart patron.
Still funny, no matter where you are. I can just imagine these things as I read them.

Holly Nelson said...

Just hilarious! Perfect for an early morning giggle!

Anonymous said...

Awesome made my night