Had this forwarded to me, and thought it was amusing!!
Forget Rednecks; Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Canadians.
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, You may live in Canada.
If someone in the Home Depot Offers you assistance and they don't work there, You may live in Canada. (HAD THIS HAPPEN MANY TIMES, IF I AM ON MY OWN I LOOK FOR PEOPLE SHOPPING IN THE SAME DEPARTMENT AND ASK THEM, AS NINE TIMES OUT OF TEN THEY KNOW MORE THAN THE EMPLOYEES ANYHOW!)
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, You may live in Canada. (SEEN THIS)
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation With someone who dialed a wrong number, You may live in Canada. (DONE THIS!!)
If 'Holidays' means going anywhere South of Detroit for the weekend, You may live in Canada.
If you measure distance in hours, You may live in Canada.
If you know several people Who have hit a deer more than once, You may live in Canada.
If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' In the same day and back again, You may live in Canada. (THIS IS SO TRUE!!!)
If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, You may live in Canada..
If you install security lights on your house and garage,But leave both unlocked, You may live in Canada.
If you carry jumper cables in your car, And your wife knows how to use them, You may live in Canada. (I CARRY JUMPER CABLES, BUT HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO USE THEM!!, COME TO THINK ABOUT NOT SURE WHY I CARRY THEM THEN?)
If you design your kid's Halloween costume To fit over a snowsuit, You may live in Canada. (DONE THIS MANY TIMES, IN FACT IT WAS A TREAT FOR THE KIDS NOT TO HAVE TO WEAR THEIR SNOWSUITS!)
If the speed limit on the highway is 80 km -- You're going 90 and everybody is passing you, You may live in Canada. (PERSONALLY THIS APPLIES TO ALL OVER THE WORLD, NOT JUST CANADA)
If driving is better in the winter Because the potholes are filled with snow,You may live in Canada. (THEY HAVE A POINT HERE, THE POTHOLES ARE WICKED THIS YEAR)
If you know all 4 seasons: Almost winter, winter, still winter, And road construction, You may live in Canada. (OH SO TRUE!)
If you have more miles On your snow blower than your car, You may live in Canada.
If you find minus 2 degrees 'a little chilly', You may live in Canada.
If you actually understand these jokes, And forward them to all Your Canadian friends, You definitely live in Canada.
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12 comments:
Gill those are hilarious! Thanks for posting, I can totally relate to the Home Depot thing too!
THIS is the absolute truth! I've done every single one of those things except I swerved for the deer - others in the family weren't so lucky.
Shorts, parka and I'll add Rubber Boots.
From a Canadian who lives in Canada, south of Detroit.
Great post, leaving today chuckling! Thanks, I needed that ;)
I've seen this before and it's so true.
About Home Depot...it would have to be someone who didn't work there because the employees don't help (at least at the Home Depot we go to).
I could swear you're talking about Michigan! Especially the seasons (our state flower is the orange barrel) and using the air conditioner and heater in the same day!
halrious post to come back to! I sure have missed you Gill!
That's very funny! Some are true of everywhere!
A lot of those are true for us, too! At least here in Washington state... My mom has hit deer many, many times--and my grandma always did, too. We carry jumper cables in our cars and I know how to use 'em, too ;)
I've had conversations with people that dial the wrong number, too; we get 'em all the time. And halloween costumes around here aren't designed around snowsuits, but rather around raincoats!
And the road construction one made me laugh, 'cause we were in BC on our honeymoon in August '07, and there was road construction most of the way up once we hit the Canadian border! lol!
LOVE this, Gill! Very funny.
lol so true! i have jumper cables and an air pump for tires. I know how to use them both. we don't bother with AC, the season is so short! thanks for the chuckle! evelyn
Ya know if even half of these are true, Canada sounds like a damned nice place to live. Actually I can very easily believe most of them. As a group, Canadians are some of the nicest people I've ever met. I'm sure there are exceptions -- there always are -- but in my experience, they're some of the friendliest people in the world. And I met a great many of them when the Oilers played the Hurricanes for the Stanley Cup -- a pretty adversarial setup you'd think. But almost to a person they were considerate, friendly and quite frankly a very welcome change from the Buffalo fans we had just clashed with in the Conference final.
Maybe they just have to be that warm to survive the frigid climate. But they really left a good impression on the folks 'round here. Good on ya!
These are so funny but nice too.
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