Tuesday, February 17, 2009

What we women do.......we must be crazy.......

So as you know we are going to a black tie dinner dance (see this post) I got the dress a while back and last week I picked up the shoes and an evening bag. I really like the shoes and I can see me wearing them again and again. I also got them on sale for $39.99, was pretty pleased with the price. Here is a photo:



The evening bag, although nice, is actually pretty useless as I am one of these women who haul around a huge handbag everywhere I go, and it has everything but the kitchen sink in it!! I'll be lucky if I can get a cell phone, a lipstick and a couple of credit cards in this one. The strap comes off which I think will be better, and I paid $19.99 for it, so I guess that wasn't too bad. Here is a photo of it:


So now for the things we women do part of the post. Now I have to admit, I don't have the most perfect of figures. I have a "full figure" with curves and "wobbly bits," in fact a lot of wobbly bits. So as this dress I have got would look a whole lot better if my "wobbly bits" didn't wobble, I decide to go out and buy a pair of SPANX. For those of you who don't know what SPANX are here is the photo of the contraption:



Now I am no expert on this, so I go by what the instructions tell me and buy the size applicable for me. When I get home I try them on. After much struggle I get them on. Now if I weren't such a shy individual I would have taken a photo with my SPANX on, however that would only have given you all nightmares for the rest of your life.

Suffice to say, yes my wobbly bits don't wobble, how can they they are so constricted none of me wobbles. I pray and hope I don't have to use the bathroom much that night. As although it's supposed to be easy to go to the bathroom with these on, I am guessing it's not as simple as they think. They reckon you can disco dance with these on.........you've got to be joking, as I am all wrapped up like a mummy, so unless there is some sort of mummy dance, that too will be out of the question. I never tried sitting down with these things on. I guess I should try them on again and try sitting down with them on, as I can't stand all night???

I had better get a lot of compliments that night on how good I look, that's all I can say. Oh and I suppose I had better shave my legs and underarms, as we are at the braiding the hair stage ;0)

21 comments:

willywagtail said...

tee hee he!!! with tears running down my face i write to say that I sure hope you enjoy yourself. Cherrie

Rudee said...

Poor thing. I don't envy you having to wear that underneath it all, but I bet you'll look fabulous. Have you tried on the dress with the torture device?

Lakeland Jo said...

what a laught. Good luck with the spanx. We have something called magic knickers over here!!

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

I have some of those Spanx things Gill - we call them magic knickers here. Trouble is I have a very weak (arthritic) wrist which causes all sorts of problems with anything remotely "fitted".

Can understand you not wanting to model the said Spanx but you could post a photo of you ready for the "do" - in any event hope you have a lovely time. A x

Sabra said...

I am sure you will be lovely, Gill. DO post a photo of the "whole" outfit! [The dress was gorgeous - but we only saw it hanging up...]

Twisted Fencepost said...

I so think you should have taken a pic of you with the Spanx on. Or trying to get it on. tee hee
I wouldn't be brave enough to take a pic with myself in those either.
Can't wait to see you all dolled up in your formal wear!

Stephanie D. said...

A girdle! Haven't seen one in years, not since stockings went out! So, basically it's the same thing without the little tabs to hold up your stockings! I didn't know they still made those! My mother wore them, and she made me wear them in my chubby teens, til panty hose came out and I gladly threw those things away!

scrappy quilter said...

Too too funny!! I'm betting you're going to look fabulous though.

QuiltedSimple said...

Oh my gosh - way too funny! I'm sure you will look fabulous though - I think we need a picture of you all dressed up for the evening...
Kris

Betsy from Tennessee said...

Great post, Gill. I really want to see the beauty in the entire outfit!!! I'm sure --even with the SPANX, you will have a great time at the "Black Tie" dinner dance..

Love those shoes.
Hugs,
Betsy

Denise said...

Good grief, I have enough trouble putting my bra on and pulling my panty hose up. Contortionist by trade I am not. I would be in one heck of a lot of trouble if I had to squeeze my wobbly bits into this thing. I am still laughing at your humorous post Gill, great stuff. I agree with Strawberry Jam Anne, I hope you'll let us see you all gorgeoust up in your outfit :)

2sweetnsaxy said...

Too funny! I'm only reminded that I haven't had to dress up in a while. Those Spanx remind me of everything else. I think the manufaturers have a different idea of queen size than those of us who are actually queen size. :-) What's that saying - one size does NOT fit all. :-D

Margaret's Ramblings said...

Well let me know if you can disco with them on. I can't disco so maybe a set will improve my dancing skills, LOL. Margaret.

Oh and don't forget we want a photo on the big night.

Caroline said...

These things are so popular here(aussie) at the moment & yes I do have a pair I jump up down & around trying to get them on but once I do they really do SMooth out the Curves!!
I have posted Oopsey to you I hope you get her soon had to send her quick got sick of her whining for a holiday LOL!!

Patty said...

I would have loved to have been hiding in your closet while you were slipping into that Spanx thingie. Make sure you dust your body with some nice talc before slipping into it again, it will probably go on easier. Also the purse is just the right size for the evening, you only need a lipstick, hankie one credit card just in case and a cell phone. I can no longer wear shoes with a heel, my ankles are too wobbly. Another joy of growing older. Perhaps if I had kept wearing them, but I went to flat shoes years ago while still working full time, since they were so much more comfortable.

Have fun at the dinner, and remember there will be others there also crammed into one of those thingies. Good luck if you have to go to the bathroom. I would hope it would have an opening someplace rather then having to pull the whole thing down. Otherwise if it were me, I doubt I would struggle to get back into the thingie, it would be pitched into the trash bin. I even hate panty hose.

a pot, a thought & a smidgen of dirt said...

I bet you looked amazing and I adore the shoes very cheap!

Carletta said...

SPANX - Oprah's secret - .....
She always says they are the best but if you notice she does look like she can't move. :)
You really must let us know how comfortable or not they are.

Jo, a retired teacher said...

In the past, I have also had to attend black tie events with 'controlling' underwear, sadistic shoes, and inadequate handbags. Just don't drink much and keep thinking about how lovely you look. Have a good time; you made me smile. I loved the "wobbly bits" idea. Any of us over the age of 35 have those.

Gill - That British Woman said...

thanks for all your comments and your advice....

Gill

Tea Time With Melody said...

Oh you are too funny. Did you take pictures? Please post.

Janet said...

This is so funny, Gill. It looks like a straight jacket, I hope this do is worth all the effort you're putting in.