Friday, February 19, 2010

Gassy or Fart? Bathroom or Toilet?

When I open my mouth to speak, it's obvious I wasn't born in Canada; same with my dh and my dad.  When the kids start talking they are Canadian through and through.  The only way you would know they were British is by some of the words they use.  However there are certain Canadian expressions I prefer to use though rather than the British versions; and one of them is "gas or gassy."  I personally find the word "FART" not a pleasant word.  No idea why, just don't like using that word

Being gassy sounds more ladylike than saying farting in my books.  Breaking wind isn't an expression used over here, pumping is I think more of a British word, I will say trumpeting now and then, but "gassy" is my all time favourite word.

However for me being gassy can also mean I will burp as well.  I am especially gassy after I have had a carbonated drink like Cola.  Carbonated drinks make me burp something rotten, so I rarely drink them.  Again it's not ladylike to be able to burp the full alphabet after drinking a can of pop, now is it!!

I also like to say I am going to the bathroom rather than going to the toilet.  I think if you say bathroom, it sorts of give's the whole situation an air of mystery as to what you are exactly going to do.  Whereas if you're going to the toilet, well you're using the toilet...

Finally one other Canadian custom we have embraced is taking your shoes off when you go into a house.  It always horrifies me now when people walk into a house with their dirty great shoes on and walk all over your clean carpet?  Now in our case it doesn't matter as we have wood floors which are generally freezing cold.  However any house we visit that has a carpet on the floor, we immediately take off our shoes, unless the place looks dirty..........

(Mental note to oneself, if I visit a house of someone who reads this blog and don't take my shoes off, they will think I think their house is dirty now, so must remember to take off my shoes!!)

Finally, something I find funny.  Dd works for an international company and often they have conference calls with people around the world.  For some reason whomever they deal with in Britain must have a stronger accent that all dd co-workers have trouble understanding.  Meanwhile dd is chit chatting away to him no problem, while the other's sit there with a puzzled expression!!  She translates as the meeting progresses!!

A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hoping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road and got out to see what had become of the rabbit.



Much to his dismay, the rabbit was dead. The driver felt so awful be began to cry.


A woman driving down the highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong.


"I feel terrible," he explained. "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."


The woman told the man not to worry. She knew what to do. She went to her car trunk and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can onto the rabbit.


Miraculously, the rabbit came to life, jumped up, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped down the road. Fifty feet away the rabbit stopped, turned around, waved at the two again, hopped down the road another 50 feet, turned, waved, and hoped another 50 feet.


The man was astonished. He couldn't figure out what substance could be in the woman's spray can! He ran over to the woman and demanded, "What was your spray can? What did you spray onto that rabbit?"


The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: "Hare Spray Restores Life to Dead Hare. Adds Permanent Wave."

I groaned at that last line!!

Did you remember to put your money in your Daily Savings Pot today?

Today's Money Saving Tip:

Give up expensive habits, like cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs. Those habits cause money to flow away from you with nothing in return. Call up your fortitude and work hard to kick the habits and you’ll find that money staying in your pocket instead of burning up and floating away.

I don't do any of those things, she says as she shines her halo!!

20 comments:

Tracey said...

Well that was a feel good post if ever I read one! Thanks for the laugh... We trump in this house (well the boys fart...loudly!) Coke makes me windy!
love from one gassy Brit to another....xxxx

Tracey said...

PS..... We go to the loo, it's separate from the bathroom anyhow!

The Handmaden said...

I agree, that "f" word is rather vulgar and unfortunately used frequently here in Oz. I really can't stand it when parents think it's amusing that their children use words like that (in fact it's the parents who teach them anyway!)

I like the new "white space" on your blog, looks good.

bad penny said...

fabulous post - even the joke !!!

CambridgeLady said...

Very funny post - especially to a Brit that once lived in the USA and experienced all those silly misunderstandings and differences in vocabulary. I've really never understood why Americans and Canadians have trouble understanding British accents - sometimes I have to listen carefully but even the strongest North American dialect doesn't totally defeat me .... and Australians and Kiwis seem to be completely bilingual as well. Always a fascinating subject :o)

Clippy Mat said...

I agree, NOT taking your shoes off when someone has carpets (or rugs as we call 'em now) is just not on. In England I realize why we used to go in for those dark and gaudy patterned carpets. ugh

and bathroom not toilet
gas not fart.
;-)

Cindy Rutgers said...

This is such a hysterically funny post! I also do not like saying that I am going to the toilet, I always say bathroom or the Ladies.

The Vintage Kitten said...

Hi Gill, Thanks for stopping by my blog. I had a good chuckle at your 'gassy post'. In answer to your question, I have thousands of images that I have collected for years, but flickr is always a good source and putting in a word search for retro/vintage images always brings up loads of sites

Kim said...

I too dislike the word fart - although my son loves it! When he was little we used to say he poofed :)

I always say going to the bathroom or washroom - never the toilet.

Chicken Boys said...

Perhaps give up food, too. Besides a little nutirents and a short lasting good taste, you get nothing in return! Doesn't that seem just as wasteful? Just a thought. LOL
~Randy

Piece by Piece said...

Funny post. I also dislike the "f" word, when we were young we called gas a "purp".
Toilet or batheroom? bathroom is my word of choice.
thanks for your comments on my blog.

Patricia

Karine said...

Your post has me laughing out loud Absolutely brilliant, Gill!

Chicken Boys said...

Fart and Bathroom.
~Randy

The Witch said...

Bathroom in this house.
Always take our shoes off.
Not too happy about unclean floors thought, this has just happened once. We won't go back. I always carry purse slippers. You can wash them easily afterwords.

Don't like pop because I trumpet like a goose.
The joke... PRICELESS!!!!!!!!

Taz said...

I guess my expensive habit would be my shoes :) I'm sure you'd look great in them.
We call 'farts' trumps in this house ;)

~Kim~ said...

Your post is too funny--Thanks for the grin!! For us it's "bathroom or restroom and gas--However, my little brother who is much younger than my siblings and I used to say "warted" -- It's now a family word....

When we lived in Alaska we ALWAYS took our shoes off when we came into ours & someone's home--When we moved to Virginia and I did that, we got this kind of shocked look like "what the heck are you doing?!" People just don't do it here--But We always do it when we come in, and that's why there's a stack of shoes right by the door that never gets put away...

Mama Zen said...

I liked the joke!

Jake said...

I was born in Ireland and grew up in Canada. When we were small farts (I don't like that word either) were called "ping pongs" and I have no idea why my parents called them that.

Jackie

GrammyGoo said...

"It always horrifies me now when people walk into a house with their dirty great shoes on and walk all over your clean carpet."

Me Too!
Blessings, GG

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